Okay I think this is going to be a bit of a testy subject but I want to hear everyone's opinion.
So, we've been having these weekly get together's at our place on Tuesdays. For a couple of different reasons, first, because I'm a social creator and since we can't really GO anywhere we felt comfortable. We decided to CREATE a space instead. And two because we want to get creative with some raw and authentic people. In order to be your TRUE authentic self, (I believe) you need to be Sober - Straight Edge (in that moment at least).
Now on these Tuesdays our friends know not to bring booze, most don't drink on their own already (which is sickkkk) but there are a few peeps who are .... maybe are transitioning in the sober-curious side of things. Which is AWESOME and I'm so glad to be apart of their journey, however it puts a damper on my hard work and my mental state.
Personally, I don't want alcohol in our house. I don't want to clean up half full coolers/beers/winebottles and I don't want them left at my house as good party guests do. My house is meant to be our OASIS, our place to relax a place where we feel SAFE. Alcohol in the house doesn't BENEFIT anyone, so why would we have it then? I've been met with a couple different reasons why a "rule" like this SHOULDN'T be put in place.
1. We wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
First of all I understand that people still drink, I get that and because of that I don't say anything about people drinking around me when I'm at their place or out and about. THIS IS A LUXURY for someone who has stepped back from alcohol and substances. Why, because not a lot of people have that kind of control.
This type of control isn't always easy either, sometimes I'm literally sitting on the couch listing the amazing reasons why I shouldn't drink. Probably wondering why I still go if it isn't necessarily enjoyable, I go because I need the practice. I know sobriety is like a muscle (for me anyways) and the more I flex and strengthen it the stronger I become. And that's my ultimate goal, is to be STRONG ENOUGH to make my own decisions. To not be swayed by any alcohol, substance, incident or person and instead will have built enough confidence in myself to follow my OWN gut/intuition!
What I'm getting at is most of the world is uncomfortable for me right now. Everywhere I look there is advertising, liquor stores or people drinking around me. My home is meant to be my OASIS and I don't think it's absurd to ask this of people who are coming over.
2. People may not come over then!
This is legit the billion dollar question (almost put a million but remembered I recently watched Austin Powers the other day and turns out a Mill isn't that much anymore lol).
What if my NON-DRINKING makes other people feel SO uncomfortable that they refuse to come to my house.
Honestly, then don't come over.
If you're telling me that you can't come over for a COUPLE HOURS to hangout without drinking then maybe you aren't a safe friend for me to have atm.
In my opinion asking for someone not to drink at my house is not me putting "rules" on my household. Instead its a request for you to respect my lifestyle as I respect yours while I watch you drink your face off at public functions. I'm not trying to be rude it's just Sobriety is hard enough, I don't need to be battling/struggling just so people who are indulging feel more comfortable.
They probably won't remember anyways!